About writing

The pictures are a few of those I took with the Praktica camera I had for Christmas. I love the style and the colours, it managed to come out quite nice on dull days and I managed to take descent pictures inside in low light, something I absolutely can't do with my Diana lomography. I played a bit with the shutter's speed to get a descent light reading and not get under-exposed pictures. The trick is to stop breathing when you take the pictures to be as steady as possible.

But all that is not what has been on my mind today. I am frustrating with my writing on this blog, I feel like I can't find my voice, my style. I have it in my head when my thoughts ramble but as soon as I open a blank post, my mind goes blank as well. I read a lot of different blogs from very different people, and they inspired me to write one, I love to read them because they have something special, a way to write, a way to tell stories, and sometimes I feel like I am lacking all of that. And it is frustrating, I thought about stopping and then I get views and comments and it feels great, it makes me want to carry on, something not to be given up like all the rest. 

I wanted a space to write and share things and I also thought that it would push me to do more to have something to talk about and if it's interesting to anyone else then it makes it even better. But I think I've been holding myself back with the writing, sometimes because of laziness, or still being slightly judgemental of blogs and not wanting it to become an uninteresting self-centred diary, or fear of being judged but that would imply that anyone reads me anyway! But I also realised that I wasn't inspired to write because my life is not inspiring me at the moment. It is not a fulfilling life. And over Christmas, we talked about it with Tom and we agreed, it's time for a change, but not talk about it saying one day, we have a date, a goal and we are working towards it. I am not ready to say too much as we haven't told our friends and all of our family but that shouldn't be long. 2013 is going to be a year of changes, good, needed changes. Since then I feel motivated, I've started painting, reading more and hopefully writing more.

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