It took me another whole week to gather enough courage to call the horse riding place, but I did it and on the next day I was on the back of my horse for the first time in 5 years. On the way there I must say I was feeling anxious, since I broke my elbow 8 years ago (very badly broken, they had to remove the head of one of the bones and it took month for me to move normally again, and years not to be frequently in pain. It still hurts sometimes.) I am a bit more aware of the risks if you fall. I rarely fell before then so there are no reasons for me to fall now, especially with my horse. I know her by heart, but I precisely know as well that she can just lose it! But I forgot that she got older, she is not a 5 year old baby anymore and she is a lot calmer. After a few minutes I was perfectly comfortable and beyond happy. I smiled throughout the hour, I couldn't help it. She hasn't changed a bit and it felt good, maybe that's what I was the most worried about, that I wouldn't be able to ride my own horse. I even ended the lesson by jumping which is something I hadn't done in 7 years. I didn't jump high but I did it, I felt confident enough to try. I wanted to go again before leaving but I could barely move for the next couple days - I am so desperately unfit - and now I'm pretty sick. Yesterday was spent doing literally nothing and I still felt exhausted. My body is so achy, I really hope it's not the flu!